At the end of a long trip for me begins a mew journey usually home.
On this particular, Sunday I was joined in a rusty old Diner nestled in between two antique stores in downtown Santa Rosa California by Austin Beeman and Jennifer Nelson. The three of us had just completed a whirlwind tour of Northern California wine regions and two conferences. We were gearing up for one final day of wine touring, tasting and mocking people endlessly.
This is part one of a several part post about a two week period filled with wine. So much wine! The trip began in Amador County, in the shadow of the Sierra Foothills.
If you have not been; go!
We begin with the end!
We decided to stop and have a solid breakfast for the first time in a week so that we had a base for all of the wines we were sure to taste throughout the day. Individually we had heard that The Omelette Express was a great place for breakfast and we were greeted at the door by a man who looked like he belonged in Donnie Brasco instead of at a diner. It isn’t often you’re greeted by a bouncer at a diner first thing Sunday morning but we waited outside and watched patiently as other people walked past us to try and get inside and were stopped by Don.
It’s the type of place that you would completely expect Guy Fieri to go to and make the many ridiculous and annoying sounds and dudes that he spews on his popular television show.
When I Googled whether he had ever been there or not I was very happy to know that the customers that were there were True Believers instead of triple D’ers.
Surprisingly I am not a huge breakfast person, rarely up early enough to experience breakfast with the rest of the world and even when I am my body is not prepared to eat such a big meal so early. Yet just after 9:30 we were seated and ordered Jennifer got the number 16 , Austin got the number one and I got the number 4 and added ham and bacon.
The # 1 Bacon, Avocado, Tomato and Cheese
The # 4 Ground Sirloin, Spinach, Scallions and Cheese
The # 16 Mushrooms, Herbs, Spinach and Cheese (Come on Jenn)!
Holy shit were we impressed to get three bloggers who bloviate constantly about everything just shut up for almost 10 minutes while we devoured the best cheese meat and vegetable filled omelets that exist on this planet and possibly others. It was a monumental feat!
Decadent doesn’t begin to describe the ground sirloin spinach scallions pepper jack cheese and ham filled cloud that I consumed along with Homestyle potatoes and the thick buttery piece of toast. Huge big as your face breakfast which normally bugs me that portions are so large. but this time it was awesome!
For me it was that moment that we realized that our journey was only beginning even though we already spent 6 days nestled in Sonoma County imbibing and tasting through hundreds of wines from all over California and the rest of the world. It was well into the trip and the last before I returned home to my fiancé who joined Jenn and I for the first leg. Now we began our journey from Sonoma back east!
The bill is paid and we left stunned only leaving crumbs on our plate and half of Jennifer’s omelet in a to-go container that filled my car already doused in whiskey and cigar soot with the aroma of breakfast.
We hit the road for our first appointment satisfied and ready for the day but also wishing for a nap and a snort of something tasty to awaken our pallets for the day to come…First Stop….
You can check Austin and Jenn out below!
91. Do not waste time with people who you do not enjoy.
92. Be blunt and purposeful! Censorship is for the FCC
93. Give the respect you want or get none
94. Give more and better complements and mean them
95. Not everyone is hitting on you, get over yourself
96. Driverless cars will be the death of us all!
97. By opening that bottle; it creates the special occasion.
98. Go wine tasting in Amador
99. Buy some fucking Barbera
100. Zinfandel is red, buy some and drink it with pizza, pasta or baked brie with fig jam.
101. Pay attention to people, get off your damn phone in public.
102. Get Action, Take Risks!
103. If you vote for a child rapist, then you support rape. There is no other way to put it.
104. Smoke one cigar a month at least.
105. Dear Trader Joe’s, just stop!
106. Register to vote
107. Look up at the sky one a day
108. Buy someone a drink you don’t know
109. Eat some Almonds
110. Go for a 20 minute walk each day
111. Drink some pastis
112. Learn to surf
113. Stop binging so much fucking Netflix and pick up a book
114. Check out the new Hall and Oates
115. How’d those resolutions Go?
116. Have you been to Livermore California? Go!
117. Stop procrastinating!
118. Get ready for derby day by adding mint to the garden now
119. Big rigs don’t own the road
120. Eat more fruit.
121. Drink more Rum, there are plenty of craft rums out there
- Listen to old people.
- Dear, kale fuck you!
- Dear vegans, my ancestors killed yours for fun and danced in the caves.
- Learn your fucking history morons. Pick up a book.
- Never yell Bomb on a plane. That’s just good life advice.
- Yoga pants are for yoga. If men are not allowed to be comfortable wearing boxers in public, then, why should you? OH, wait they look good. Never mind carry on. Nevertheless, seriously stop dressing for the gym at the grocery store.
- Men, Yoga pants are for women! No exceptions
- Take pride in your education and never let anyone make you feel bad for knowing the answer
- Stop dressing like… (Men Only)
- A pirate
- A steamboat captain
- A homeless person
- You live in your mom’s basement
- You spend all day playing video games
- Men, buy her some flowers, candy or jewelry because you want to and she deserves it. Fuck Valentine’s Day just do it!
- Go somewhere fun for a weakened this month.
- Drink some fucking Merlot- Here is a list.
- Challenge yourself daily
- Trivia can keep your mind sharp.
- Lay in bed, pour some Whiskey and watch porn with someone special! I recommend Basil Hayden during a nice gangbang scene!
- Play some music daily- Take ten minutes to chill to your 3 favorite songs
- Or find 3 new songs a week and expand your horizons.
- Have a threesome; take your time and enjoy
- Say yes to 5 things you normally would say no to.
- Have one junk email address and one main one- DELETE all others. Save yourself.
- Drink more water; Order water every time you order a drink.
- Try to get a little kinky at least once a week!
- Drink more Cognac
- Go wine tasting in Temecula
- Use your tongue for more than just speaking
- In keeping with the previous rule- Learn when to shut up
- Get back to people with an answer even if it is no. The idea that you can ignore someone until they go away is for assholes.
- Love deeply and fuck like you mean it
- Do not surrender, or fear defeat learn from it!
- Call people back, stop texting someone who calls you
- Do not waste time in conversations you do not enjoy.
- Find the one who makes your life better
- You know you hate your job so leave!
- Check your credit score and report and fight back before we lose that right too!
- Make a new resume and be bold and yourself.
- Clean out the cobwebs…
- Join a meet up or group
- Read some goddamn books!
- Read the newspaper!
- Catch up on the news daily! The real news, not the Kardashian reality tv bullshit.
- Do you know who your Mayor is? Find out last shit!
- Stop shopping at Walmart!
- Go back to school
- Don’t just plan an adventure: Go
- Watch your damn kids.
- Become a hedonist and live life for the sheer pleasure.
- Drink more absinthe
- Stop ordering stupid drinks to impress people, drink what you like.
- Skinny jeans are STILL for Women only.
- Make 2018 your bitch!
- Eat more fruit.
- Stop with the fucking diets, eat smarter and better.
- Take this and all list or ideas with a grain of salt.
- Truth is not a choice, facts are not up for discussion.
- Thank people for what they do.
- Smile more, resting bitch face is not a thing.
- Have lots of sex!
- Apply for a job you have no business getting.
- Tipping is not god’s gift you cheap fuck.
Books to read
- Wings Unseen by Becca Gomez Farrell with a Spirit Works gin and tonic!
Podcasts to listen to
- Crime Writers On